This is the death of who I am.

Right now, I’m tired, annoyed, itchy and frustrated.

This year has been a really interesting balance of amazing and heart-breaking.

I don’t know how it’s going to turn out.

Because I’m revisiting points in the past where I had to make a change, where I had to face the old beliefs and old systems that were literally killing me, I’m curious what all of these new experiences mean for my future.

All I know is that I’m (mostly) dealing with them better this time, because I know one thing for sure:

This is the death of who I am.

This is a natural progression of growth and expansion. It’s part of my path, it’s part of my journey, and there is absolutely something here for me to learn.

I’d love to be the person who can kinda take a gentle turn, who can recognize what’s coming and slow down before it arrives, but it appears I’m only able to make the kinds of changes needed once everything else comes to a complete standstill, and I’m left without direction, bruised and torn up from colliding (yet again) with a brick wall.

Now that I’m emerging from the chaos, there is light and breath and air.

That’s really all I need to be born again.