The power of being complaint-free
Let’s try this one tiny experiment.
When’s the last time you complained about something?
Most likely, it was today.
Maybe even an hour ago…
It could be that the coffee was too hot, or too cold.
Maybe that receptionist was rude.
That salesperson inattentive.
Or, your husband did that thing he does that he KNOWS makes you crazy….
6 years ago, when I really started feeling dedicated to this work, I really resisted this piece.
It was Day One of a life coaching program, and we had to sign a contract, committing ourselves to being complaint free.
“Who does that?” I thought.
“WHY would they do that?”
I’d started the program because I was not just exhausted, I was also miserable.
Intensely miserable, controlling, angry, and pretty shitty to be around, especially for my young children.
I woke up every day, and my very first thought was: fuck. Not again.
Sleep was a refuge, a space where I didn’t have to pay attention to how miserable I was, how miserable I was making my kids, and how little my husband wanted to deal with my mood swings.
And first day of this program was going COMPLAINT FREE?
In fact, I’ve gone through the program 3 or 4 more times, and every time, on day one, I feel resistance.
The fact is, though, that going complaint free was just step one.
It makes it easier to do all the other steps, and the core of that program and what I now teach my clients: Self-Awareness.
Particularly, of your thoughts.
Attempting to go Complaint Free means you have to pay attention not only to what you’re saying every day, but also to what you’re thinking.
I learned that the goal isn’t just to stop complaining, but the real goal, the real benefit is realizing how easy it is to default into complaints.
How habitual it is to focus on the negative.
How the negativity we swirl around in all day every day has a very real impact on how we feel.
Try this for a week.
Go Complaint Free.
Don’t judge yourself if you find yourself complaining. Allow yourself to notice how you feel while venting. Allow yourself to pay attention to the physical sensations of complaining:
Then, switch it up.
Say to yourself: Even though this issue deserves all my negative thoughts and words about it, I don’t deserve to feel like this.
Move from the negativity to a neutral place.
Choose to feel better.
Choose to let it go, for now.
Then, notice how your body feels.
I promise, it is worth it to bring attention to this difference.
It won’t stop the crappy things you want to complain about from happening, but it will change how you deal with them.
Let me know if you give this a try at Lani@LaniHarmon.com